Not sure if there were four of them or just three, divers keep panic an option

divers

Photo: TauchSport_Steininger, on Flickr. Open Water Diver – 28_07_2010

“Of course for us divers this is a stressful situation, but I’m sure that if we handle it in a relaxed way and if piccolo Marco is not left behind, under the water, this whole story will have a happy end.”

They went for their weekly dive in the Acqa Terra resort near Napoli. The divers, all members of the local diving association could not agree on the number of participants who went underwater.

Says Marco: “We usually come together in one car, Me, Paulo, piccolo Marco and Andrea. Today each of us came alone, by car or motorcycle and none of us remembers if piccolo Marco was among us or not. Of course this is a stressful situation, but I’m sure that if we handle it in a relaxed way and if piccolo Marco is not left behind, under the water, this whole story will have a happy end.”

Other members of the team reiterated a less optimistic voice. Andrea: “I have this feeling that the four of us went under the water. I tried to call piccolo Marco, but no one answers the phone.”

Up until now there hasn’t been any news from the forth diver and the odds are 50/50 between a tragedy and a non story.

Paulo who’s a close friend of piccolo Marco sums it like this: “I think it has to do with fish. They don’t remember quite a lot and when you’re down there with them, perhaps you get some of their influence. Any way after a short break we plan to dive and look down there just to be sure. And next time, next time we’re certainly going to prepare a list. We’ve learned our lesson.”


One hour into first date, guy pretends to have known film is in French

Date

Photo: Leo Hidalgo, on Flickr. Cinema

Things went a bit wrong on Dave’s side as the movie he and Ann entered proved to be speaking French.

They met this Sunday and already decided to give it a shot. His name is Dave and her name is Ann. They both work in a workers restaurant in Vermont Avenue, LA.

“When I saw Ann, I knew I had to be more courageous than what I usually am with girls. I promised to myself, that if Ann will say yes, I’ll buy me some present. You see this new phone? Ann chose it. Of course I made it look as if I purchased it because I needed a new phone.”

Ann who’s not a shy girl says everything right up front. She’s a openhearted young woman with big dreams like becoming a movie star one day. She says she loves local film industry and never thought about doing or watching anything else.

Things went a bit wrong on Dave’s side as the movie he and Ann entered proved to be speaking French.

“It was my mistake, of course. The film had a name which had a meaning in English, or so I found it to have. Anyway, five minutes into the movie, I see that she’s okay with it. She opened my new phone, probably to get some more information about the film or perhaps get a translation file. To be honest, I wanted to say something, like for example, Hey, Ann, did you notice they don’t speak English, but the words got stuck and the more we got into the film the more it felt like something I just can’t do.”

The date concluded with a shake of hands and so far Dave didn’t hear from Ann.

“The film was very dramatic. I guess she’ll have to think about it and reflect some. I still wait for her phone call.”


Mom loses patience when boy heads for a third dessert

Mom

Photo: Eyeliam, on Flickr, IMG_9468

“He ate already two desserts, and finished a whole Coke, how much longer is it going to last?” Complained the mom

In Kopenhagen a young mom by the name Lærke complained today she had to suffer serious delays in her schedule due to her son not finishing his lunch. It all happened in Fredericiagade, where a new restaurant had been opened lately with special dishes for kids.

“At first glance, it looked like a smart choice, even though the pricing was a bit high;” Confesses Lærke. “I told my son, Mikkel, let’s sit here. He hesitated a bit, because he only loves my home made food, or so I had a reason to think. Then a strange thing occurred. They brought a fishcake and he ate it, a smoked mackerel and he ate it. He even finished a whole loaf of dark rye bread. I couldn’t believe it.”

Mikkel who’ll be 12 this summer says he doesn’t like to going out with mom because one of his school friends might see him and laugh the day after about his mom who dresses up funny. But then he adds: “This time, we were far from our neighborhood so I could really concentrate on the food. It was tasty. My mom cooks with too little salt. She’s in for health food and I’m not.”

An hour after the lunch has started Lærke and Mikkel were still there.

“I told him I have lots of things to do. I have to go to the barber, buy some fruit, meet a friend of mine, do some work for the family business. but he was just eating. Eating and drinking. It felt like we were going to pass the whole morning doing just that. I felt so miserable.”

An hour and 10 minutes after they in the restaurant, the bill came.

“It was that one time in which I payed with a smile. I almost kissed the waitress when she returned with my credit card and thanked us.”

Lærke says that if she learned any lessons from that afternoon it must have been that patience is not for young Danish moms.


Californian claims to have been abducted by aliens. Asked if Za is acceptable in Scrabble, then returned home

scrabble

Kotramlf, on Flickr, Alien Fresh Jerky

“I tell you for the last time. I don’t like this scrabble shit!”

A 35 years old from Baker California claimed this morning to have been abducted by somewhat intelligent creatures, put in a room with no windows for about half a day, interrogated by one of them and then sent back to his home.

The man, Tim, a plumber who has not kinship to the scrabble game said: “They wanted to know if some words like Za and muzjiks and jousted are acceptable words in Scrabble. I told them that I never play the game so that it must be a mistake, but they kept on asking. Apparently they were in a middle of game when a quarrel evolved and they had to solve it out. I still don’t know why they took me but I certainly intend to delete my listing from the Yellow pages next year.”

Johnny Shumacher, who’s an alien researcher met with Tim and immediately shared his impression of the presumably kidnapped man: “I listened to his story for a whole hour and the man is credible. Every word that comes out of his mouth is credible. Except Za and muzjiks and jousted which I wrote down and still have to work out. Probably some alien’s magnetic field inspiration.”

Tim who runs his own business, AAAA plumbing in Baker, California says he’ll go back to work as if nothing had happened. “We heard about stories like this, here. I mean, I never thought they’d pick me, but not that it’s over, I really want to get my old life back.”

Tim’s wife, Za, who was named after her great grandma from Siberia, said that she hopes that more clients will call their toll free number now that they’re more famous. “He’s had some tough years in plumbing. Not much luck. I hope that these aliens have opened the clogged toilets for us, so to speak.”


Belgian businessman, father of three, don’t give shit about color of socks

Photo: Zoetnet, on Flickr relaxing

Photo: Zoetnet, on Flickr
relaxing

“You have to understand, we Belgians are not a fashion nation. It’s not like in Italy that clashing socks can get you in trouble. This is Belgium. We’re a country known for… well… the European Union is here so we’re certainly known for that.”

This is how Lukas chooses to open the conversation between us. He’s a man of first impression. The way he looks at you, the strength of his hand shake, the smell of his perfume. Everything he wears or says or holds seems to immediately get some of his special character.

But then there are the socks.

“These socks are special to me. I have five pairs, all in the same color. and then some purple ones and a yellowish with thin stripes. I get a lot of remarks about my socks. Apparently people have a lot to say, but we Belgians have a saying that goes like this: When the socks look like the shoes, the shoes smell like the socks.”

Lukas reads everyday the financial section of a local newspaper. He says that being Belgian doesn’t affect his choices in life, nor the fact that he’s got a secret bank account in Liechtenstein. “I’m very proud of my country, the people, the things that we’ve done. Like, the European Union headquarters which are very close to where we are. I’m very optimistic looking to the future. This doesn’t mean I don’t have any worries, but socks, socks are certainly not something that I might wake up in the middle of the night because of.”

We say goodbye. Luka offers me some Belgian chocolate and cookies. They taste delicious. He asks me not to forget that Belgium is not only where great chocolate is being made, but is also where the EU sits.


Atheists all over the world celebrate We Are Alone day

Photo: Artur on Flickr, mud bath

Photo: Artur on Flickr, mud bath

They came from every part of the world, most young between the ages of 20 and 30 but many older and even a lot older. They were all happy and full of belief. The irony of the spectacle made by Atheists who have gathered in France for a weekend of fun was difficult to miss. The sense of something sacred was everywhere you looked. They danced like a Chassidic group, sang like Mormons and prayed their own way, without reciting from holy text books.

The event was the yearly mud bath. Every year, on the first week of May and then again on the last week of October they celebrate the lutum balneum (bath of mud) which is succeeded by the public reading of Soli sumus, or We Are Alone, a text composed for the occasion.

Jenny J. who came all the way from Island told us: “Atheists or Atheism are not going to disappear one day just like that. We are here to stay, unfortunately like all other religions. We don’t believe in anything they believe in and that includes their holidays. The thing is that belonging to a group that doesn’t celebrate is boring so we thought to spice it up a bit.”

We Are Alone day is to be celebrated in other towns and cities when the peak of the event, the reading of the Soli sumus is to be broadcast live in the Internet, in http://www.AtheistsCanHaveFunToo.com


Liberland First Referendum: An International Airport Or A Soccer Stadium

"Location Liberland Europe" by MasiulisJonas1 - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Location_Liberland_Europe.png#/media/File:Location_Liberland_Europe.png

“Location Liberland Europe” by MasiulisJonas1 – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Location_Liberland_Europe.png#/media/File:Location_Liberland_Europe.png

It’s either we build a nice international airport or cater for our football fans who would love to see their Liberland stadium

The newest tiny nation of Liberland was just founded early April and citizens already have to decide between two projects that the leaders of their new tax free country are planning. “It’s either we build a nice international airport so that people can come from all over the world and see the miracle of a small nation that lives and let live, or we give up the tourist influx right away and instead cater for our football fans who would love to have a local modern stadium,” says Vit one of the founders of Liberland.

360px-LiberlandLiberland which is the smallest state after the Vatican and Monaco, with only 7 square kilometers could not host an airport and a stadium as this will leave no place at all for its residents to build their houses, which might result sooner or later in total absence of residents.

“Of course we had plans for a shopping mall, a natural park reserve and a state of the are theme park for children but all are in hold at the moment, until we get the decision of our citizens. If they go for the airport, I believe we’d have to squeeze in most of our architectural projects in that last square kilometer that will be left,” Added Vit.

A source in Liberland said that they continue to receive hundreds of thousands of citizenship requests from all over the world, mainly from countries in the Middle East but also from South America, North Africa, Central Africa, East and West Africa, Central America, Asia, and many other corners of the world.

“Liberland is tiny, perhaps,” Said the source, “But it’s tax free and doesn’t immerse in torturing its own inhabitants which are two traits that don’t co-exist anywhere except here,”